How to Be a Pirate - Cowell Cressida (читать книги онлайн без txt) 📗

The noise of Fishlegs's head connecting with the shield caught the Creature's attention and light finally dawned in its dull eyes, which swam into focus on Hiccup. Its tentacles gripped strongly and escape became impossible.

"More food?" it mused to itself.

"NOT food!" Hiccup shouted out. "I'm POISONOUS. Very,very POISONOUS!"

"Poissonoussssss?" hissed the Creature. "It ssspeakss and iss poissonousss, is it? I'M poissssson-ousssssss. Sssssssee?"

And it waved the deadly plunger of its tail menacingly in front of Hiccup.

"Don't like it when the food sssspeaks...," whined the Creature to itself. "Isss trickssssy when it ssspeaks... kill it quickly before it trickssss me...."

It wrapped its tentacles a little tighter around Hiccup in order to suffocate him.

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"This is all very, interesting," Hiccup managed to choke out, his eyes popping. "So, how were you thinking of killing me, exactly?"

Gradually, the awful pressure on Hiccup's chest eased as the Strangulator considered this question.

"Well," it said slowly, "I wasssss thinking of ssssssqueezing you to death. ..."

"I onlyask," said Hiccup, gasping for air, "because I was recently nearly swallowed by a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, who said, that you Undergrounders were very primitive animals, poorly armed, and only capable of basic forms of killing, such as strangulation."

The Creature stopped squeezing entirely.

"That'ssss very rude," it hissed eventually, rather hurt. "What isssss thissss giganti-Maxi-thingy anyway?"

"Release your tentacles a bit," said Hiccup, "and I'll tell you."

"Okay," said the Strangulator, "but no tricksssing or I'll get crossssss."

Slowly the Creature unwound its tentacles, leaving them only loosely wrapped about the boy. Hiccup took in great relieved gulps of air.

"A Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus," Hiccup

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continued, "is a gigantic, scary killing machine as big as a mountain...."

"I'm big ...," the Creature pointed out.

"It has at least three ways of killing," said Hiccup. "It can rip you to pieces with its talons, bite you to bits with its teeth or fry you to a frazzle with its fire."

"I can do that ...," said the Creature, less certainly.

"No, you can't," said Hiccup. "You haven't got any talons, teeth or fire."

"Ssssso I haven't," said the Strangulator, very disappointed. "But I can sssssssqueeze you to death ...." He brightened up and began to wrap his tentacles around Hiccup again.

"So OLD-FASHIONED!" shrieked Hiccup hurriedly. "What about tie POISON? That's tie most modern method of killing around. A Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus hasn't got any foison...."

"Hasssssssn't it?" asked the Creature delightedly.

"No, it hasn't," said Hiccup. "I'm very curious to see how one of these fancy new poisons works."

"It'sssss not a nicccccce way to go," warned the Creature.

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It pointed the sharp needle of its tail straight at Hiccup's heart.

Suddenly, Toothless flew into the Strangulator's field of vison. The Creature lost concentration for a second as the little dragon zoomed up and down right in front of its eyes. By the time it had coordinated its tentacles enough to frighten Toothless away, the Strangulator was very, very cross.

"I told you, no trickssssssing!" it hissed, with venom in its voice. "Thisssss will shut you up. ..."

Fishlegs came back into consciousness just in time to see the Strangulator inject the whole tail's-worth of green poison, enough to kill the entire population of Rome, into the flesh beneath Hiccup's shirt.

[Image: A pencil.]

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19. THE HEIR TO GRIMBEARD THE GHASTLY

"So," chatted Hiccup, "while we're waiting for this poison to take effect, why don't you tell me how it works?"

"Well," crowed the Strangulator, "you will lose control of your tentaclesss ass they sssstart to sssstiffen. ..."

"I can feel a sort of tingling in my feet, like pins and needles," admitted Hiccup.

The Strangulator's own tentacles were leaping about wildly, as stiff as boards.

"The poissson turnsss sssome victimsss green Before they die ...," hissed the Strangulator gleefully.

"Is it just me, " said Hiccup, "or is there a sort of greenish tinge to my left arm?"

There wasn't. It was as white and freckled as ever.

But a strange green cloud was building within the Strangulator's transparent body, gradually obscuring the unfortunate dragons he was digesting.

"... and then as the poissson reaches the head"

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continued the Strangulator, "the nervoussss ssyssstem sssssimply explodesss. ..."

He looked at Hiccup hopefully. Nothing seemed to be happening.

"That'sss funny," said the Strangulator.

"It doesn't sssseem to be working. ..."

"Maybe some people take longer," said Hiccup reassuringly. "You're looking a little peaked yourself, maybe you should lie down."

The Strangulator looked down at itself. The green cloud had now blown into every crook and cranny of its body, and was finally approaching its tiny brain....

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

screeched the Strangulator.

The nervous system of the Strangulator simply exploded.

All of its electric circuits lit up like lightbulbs. It thrashed around like a mad thing, knocking out great chunks of rock from the sides of the cave and sending treasure flying through the air in all directions.

Fishlegs hid himself underneath an overhanging

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rock in order not to be hit by the whirling coils. Toothless crawled into a crevice in the ceiling. For about a minute and a half the Strangulator threw itself wildly off the walls of the cavern, screeching a strange primeval agonized shriek. Then all of its tentacles stood out straight and stiff and it fell to the ground.

The Strangulator jerked a few more times in agony. Its tail with the dangerous tip lashed ferociously for a moment or two. And then all was silence in the Great Cavern. Huge clouds of dust gradually dispersed.

Fishlegs crawled out of his hiding place.

He scrambled over slimy rockfalls, slimy treasure and even slimier coils of Strangulator, looking for Hiccup.

Hiccup was dazed but alive. He'd had a tidal wave of a ride, thrown this way and that way until his teeth rattled. But the great coils of the tentacle wrapped around his body had cushioned him from any hurt.

He beamed at Fishlegs and Toothless.

"That was one STUPID Monster," he said.

"How did you DO it? How did you DO it?" asked Fishlegs again and again in amazement

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as he and Toothless unwound the tentacle from Hiccup's body.

For answer, Hiccup lifted up his shirt, and there, wrapped around his chest, was the very tip of the tentacle ... and in the gelatinous transparent flesh of it was a giant needle puncture mark, with the green poison clearly visible coursing underneath the skin.