How to Be a Pirate - Cowell Cressida (читать книги онлайн без txt) 📗
"Listen, Alvin," urged Hiccup, as he parried each blow, "I'm sure we can all get away safely if you forget about the treasure. ..."
"Oh, I will," promised Alvin, "just as soon as I've killed you, I will."
"Look, Alvin," reasoned Hiccup, "it's never too late to change. You've still got a chance to live life differently, make friends, start a family. ..."
"Stop it," said Alvin, "you're making me laugh. You give me a second chance? That's really funny, that is. You're a heartbeat away from the abyss,
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a mere child fighting a fully grown man, and you're giving me second chances? It's too kind of you." He made a particularly violent lunge that Hiccup just managed to dodge, and very nearly lost his balance doing so.
"It's too late for me," laughed Alvin. "I'm rotten to the core and I like being rotten. The treasure has got me and I like being got." He raised his sword way above his head as Hiccup clutched desperately at the shifting coins to steady himself.
"But I appreciate your concern," said Alvin, bringing the sword down with such savage force that it would have cut Hiccup in half -- if he had not spotted it coming and made one last leap out of the way.
So that the blow, instead of separating Hiccup into two pieces, caught Alvin completely off balance, and he stepped back onto the treasure mound behind, one on which they had not fought before ...
... and the treasure unexpectedly reared up beneath him, as if it were alive.
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18. GRIMBEARD THE GHASTLY'S FINAL SURPRISE
The entire mound reared up and shook itself, cups and jewels and swords and coins cascading down the sides like molten lava.
And something that looked like a big white rope reached out of the treasure and wound its way around Alvin's waist.
It wasn't a rope.
It was a singularly unattractive white tentacle that looked as if it were made out of a quivering piece of fat. The tentacle was dotted with small indentations out of which there oozed a disgusting whitey-gray sticky sludge that smelt indescribably awful.
Alvin shrieked in horror as the treasure dropped away to reveal the creature that had been sleeping underneath it, a creature they had awoken with their swordfight.
It was Grimbeard the Ghastly's last surprise, his FINAL booby trap.
He had left it there to guard the treasure, a monster that Hiccup had heard of in Legends,
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but never seen before, and one that he sincerely hoped he would never, ever have to see again.
It was the same animal that surprised the little lost Deadly Nadder, the day before, if you remember, and it was called a Monstrous Strangulator.
A Strangulator was a gigantic Monster genetically related to dragons, octopuses and snakes. It had tiny withered dragon wings and tiny crippled dragon legs that were basically useless, as it heaved its great body through underground tunnels like a serpent, leaving a trail of gooey slime.
It had never seen daylight and was the color of nothing. Its tentacles had obviously found a way up through to the upper caves of the Wild Dragon Cliffs, for it was transparent, and you could actually see the forms of unfortunate dragons it had eaten moving through its digestive system. Some, further down the Strangulator's great length, were lying quite still. Others that he had eaten more recently were jerking about, and one was trying to fly, trapped in the Monster's great throat.
The naturalist in Hiccup automatically identified the species -- Monstrous Nightmare, Deadly Nadder, Common or Garden times three -- making their slow
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progress through the Serpent's alimentary canal.
So small was the Creature's brain in proportion to its size that it had difficulty in keeping sensory track of all of its squirming tentacles, and they wandered about as if they had independent lives of their own. The Creature had to concentrate hard to make the tentacle that was holding Alvin move very slowly up to its head so it could have a look at him, unsure of what to make of this weird new animal.
"Isss food?" hissed the Serpent musingly to itself.
[Image: Fishes.]
Hiccup practically cried with relief. For the creature was speaking a dialect of Dragonese, a very ancient form of it, but Dragonese nonetheless.
And Hiccup was of the opinion that if you could talk to your killer, you were in with a chance.
Alvin struggled wildly and slashed at the great squeezing tentacle with the Stormblade.
"Jickle me with your prickle, would you? said the Creature. " Then I'll tickle you with mine. ..."
And languidly, it dangled the tip of its tail in front of Alvin's face.
Hiccup had seen such a tail on much smaller
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animals. It was filled to the tip with a grass-green venom, pure as glass. There was a plunger a little way down, and the tip just had to penetrate its victim, the plunger go down, and it was goodnight sweet world, hello Valhalla.
"Oh excellent," thought Hiccup to himself. "A poisonous Monstrous Strangulator. My favorite kind."
Alvin fainted as soon as he set eyes on that deadly tail. He was frightened of needles.
So the Strangulator didn't even bother to inject him. It just swallowed him whole, alive, just as he was, Stormblade and all.
In fascinated horror, Hiccup watched the now awake and struggling form of Alvin traveling down the Strangulator's transparent throat.
"So," thought Hiccup, "the Eater of Human Flesh is eaten himself. Isn't fate artistic?"
Sometimes it is harder to force yourself to stand still than it is to run away, but Hiccup knew that he wouldn't have a chance if he tried to escape. This animal was just too big. So Hiccup froze, in the hope that the Creature's eyesight was poor, like other beasts that lived solely underground.
Hiccup was probably right, but one of those
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constantly moving tentacles accidentally bumped into him, and as soon as it made contact with his warm body it automatically wrapped itself around Hiccup, and lifted him into the air.
"A Plan!" Fishlegs shouted out wildly from below. "You need a Fiendishly Clever Plan!"
"Thank you, Fishlegs," said Hiccup, his mind flicking about like a shrimp in a net, and trying to ignore the terrible squeezing around his chest. "I'm aware of that... TOOTHLESS! Come up here!"
The tentacles were turning Hiccup over and over. Toothless flapped up, and hovered as close as he could. Hiccup shouted something into the little dragon's ear.
"That's a t-t-t-terrible plan," moaned Toothless, shaking his head.
"Just do as you're told. for ONCE in your life," yelled Hiccup.
While the Creature remained unconscious of having caught anything, Hiccup still stood a chance of escape. With his sword, he jabbed away at the sticky tentacle that was encircling his trunk and it seemed to be loosening....
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Way down at the bottom of the treasure mound, Fishlegs was frantically trying to be helpful.
[Image: He lifted the sword high, high above his head.]
In front of him, there lay a heavily bejeweled monstrosity of a sword. Despite the fact that it was nearly as big as himself, Fishlegs managed to pick it up from the floor. Purple in the face with the extraordinary effort, he lifted it high, high above his head, ready to launch it at the Creature's stomach....
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Unfortunately the backwards momentum of the sword was so great that Fishlegs toppled very slowly backwards with it. There was a bronze shield on the floor behind him, and he landed on it with such force that he knocked himself out.
