Collected Poems 1947-1997 - Ginsberg Allen (книги серии онлайн .TXT) 📗

Back to the same old smiling

               dentist—

The Bloomfield police car

     with its idiot red light

     revolving on its head

     balefully at Eternity

          gone in an instant

          —simultaneous

     appearance of Bankrobbers

  at the Twentieth Century Bank

The fire engines screaming

   toward an old lady’s

   burned-in-her-bedroom

   today apocalypse

     tomorrow

   Mickey Mouse cartoons—

I’m disgusted! it’s Unbelievable!

     What a funny horrible

          dirty joke!

     The whole universe a shaggy dog story!

          with a weird ending that begins again

            till you get the point

‘It was a dark and gloomy night…’

     ‘in every direction in and

          out’

            ‘You take the high road

   and I’ll take the low’

                    —everybody lost

in Scotlands of mind-consciousness—

          Adonoi Echad!

It is not One, but Two,

     not two but Infinite—

the universe be born and die

     in endless series in the mind!

Gary Snyder, Jack, Zen thinkers,

     split open existence

     and laugh & Cry—

what’s shock? what’s measure?

     when the Mind’s an irrational

        traffic light in

               Gobi—

follow the blinking lights of contrariety!

What’s the use avoiding rats

and horror, hiding from Cops

     and dentists’ drills?

Somebody will invent

     a Buchenwald next door

—an ant’s dream’s

     funnier than

          ours

—he has more of them

     faster and seems

     to give less of

          a shit—

O waves of probable

     and improbable

Universes—

     Everybody’s right

I’ll finish this poem

     in my next life.

II

…….with eye opening

slowly to perceive

that I be coming out

     of a trance—

one look at the lipstick

     it’s a nurse

in a dentist’s office

     that first frog

thought leaping out of

     the void

     … a glimpse

out of which the whole

process unfolds this

universe & logically

and symmetrically next

unbuilds it in exact

reverse till you arrive

back at the Nothing

in which one chance

note was originally

struck…

     , the Czardas

of Creation, the first banal chord

establishing Music forever in

   its mechanical jukebox

     … and the whole

   structure unfolds

itself inevitably and

   folds back into

Nothing again …

—the same man

crossing the street looking

both ways watch out for

the cars—

and each time, returning

with a jerk of the face

(p’raps a dental touch)

dictated by the sinking

sensation, Oof! I’ve

been hoodwinked—

          again like

     someone in the Circus

defying death, got thrown

     into the orchestra—

          Note the music blaring

with an indifferent flourish of Triumph

          a nightmare Razz

     —as the acrobat leaps

out into the void—

Me! I made that Last Chance

     jump off the wire

way high up in the Big Top

     long ago …

          it’s happening again!

I wake up dazed …

     it being the dream

of someone in a dentist’s

chair in a Universe he

imagines—coming out

of gas—

     it’s only happening

in the closed universe of

     illusion

III

A nice day in the Universe on Broad Street—sun shines today as it never shone before and never will again—stillness in the blue sky—the church’s gold dome across the park sending and receiving flashes of light—I feel heartsick to destroy this all—