If You Deceive - Cole Kresley (версия книг .txt) 📗

Chapter Twenty-eight

"Madeleine, damn it," Ethan yelled, "I said to wake up!"

Maddy shot up in bed, sucking in a ragged breath. Her cheeks were wet, and the sheets were twisted. She stared dumbly into the darkness, tears continuing to fall.

He lit a lantern, then hastened back to the bed with his brows drawn. He awkwardly patted her shoulder, then removed his hand. "Uh, there, now. You should…you need tae stop cryin'. Directly." He looked as if he was bewildered by her tears. "Why did you have a nightmare? Is it because you're away from your home?"

"No, I often have them," she answered in a whisper. This was so mortifying. They'd had such a nice night once they'd met back at the cabin—dinner, then kissing, then touching. But now…

Maddy hadn't wanted him to see her nightmares, not yet at least.

She remembered an issue ofGodey's Lady's Book she'd read. An entire article had addressed how prospective grooms were attracted to radiant, carefree women."Brides from happy families make happy families!" Godey's had declared.

Ethan had just witnessed an example of how carefree shewasn't .

"Do you want to tell me what you dreamed?" he asked.

Even if she wanted to, she didn't think she was ready to tell him the details of her nightmares—or of her troubling fear that she might somehow turn out to be a bad mother, like her own. When she shook her head in answer, he appeared relieved. To his credit, he still offered, "Uh, maybe tomorrow, then?"

"Maybe," she sniffled, then pointed at the lantern. "C-can we leave that lit?" When he frowned at her, she quickly added, "Unless they charge for oil?"

"We'll make it like daylight in here, if you care to."

"I've always wondered—why would you ever be in the dark if you can afford not to be?" Dashing the last of her tears away, she asked, "Do you ever have nightmares, Ethan?"

"I used to. But no longer."

"Truly?" she asked, surprised he admitted to them. "How did you get rid of them?"

"I took care of what was bothering me." At her questioning look, he said, "I doona let wrongs go unanswered. Someone had given me pain"—his expression grew so harsh it made her chilled—"and then I gave it back."

Making an effortnot to cheat, Maddy acted as dealer for a game ofvingt-et-un among her new coterie of young matrons. Already she'd collected a group of them who thought her royally rich and her style fabulously avant-garde—so much so that they refrained from wearing jewelry because she did.

Ethan had seemed astonished that she'd made not merelyone friend but a baker's dozen of them. Her new acquaintances helped keep her busy each day while she stayed away from him.

So he could read agricultural journals in the stuffy club room.

After a mere four days of being engaged to him, Maddy now found herselfmissing him. But ever since she'd had that nightmare, he'd been even more standoffish. Hour after hour, Maddy had played cards and dice and listened as the women talked of their husbands and children, so she could stay away until sundown.

Of all the coterie, Maddy liked Owena Dekindeeren best. She was a no-nonsense young Welshwoman, who'd married a Belgian businessman. Though only twenty, Owena already had two children.

Lost in thought, Maddy almost didn't hear her say, "We can't all be so lucky as Madeleine with her attentive husband."

Maddy slowed her shuffling and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"At first I thought your husband was monitoring your gambling, like my Neville does with me," Owena said. "But I vow, I think your husband simply likes to look at you."

"Oh, yes," Maddy began in a scoffing tone, "he's so attentive he comes by once a day."

Another woman said, "No, no. He only approaches you once a day, but we often see him lingering nearby."

"His expression is so dark"—Owena grinned—"and…hungry." The women tittered, fluttering their ostrich-feather fans, scandalized.

But why would Ethan come by and not speak to me?Maddy wondered, absently shuffling.Why has he been so distant— ?

Realization hit her. Cards flew among the coterie.Ethan is already falling for me!

Maddy mumbled apologies as she hastily scooped cards from the table and from one woman's bucket hat. Yes, falling in love with her. And that was precisely why he'd been so cold!

"Shall I deal, Madeleine?" Owena asked, amused. "You look distracted."

"Oh, yes, please," Maddy said, her thoughts racing….

Although Maddy's own mother hadn't loved her, Quin hadn't fallen for her, and even Ethan seemed not to like her very much at times, Maddy boldly believed she was a lovable person.

People generally liked her, and she'd always made friends easily. And if she turned on the charm? She was nigh unstoppable. MacCarrick didn't stand a chance, she reasoned, and the poor man probably sensed his heart's impending surrender—which would explain his increasing coolness.

Naturally he would put up a brusque front as a defense! For a bachelor of his advanced years, yielding to marriage was one thing, but yielding one's heart was quite another.

And he'd already betrayed hints of his growing affection. Late into each night they touched and kissed and talked of nothing serious, learning each other's bodies. He taught her how he liked to be caressed and wanted her to reveal what she desired from him.

He'd nuzzle her neck and her breasts so gently, kissing her lips tenderly. He'd compliment her, pleasure her, and then gruffly insist she sleep against him as he held her close.

Whenever they were alone in their cabin, he would walk around naked and unabashed—what male wouldn't, with a physique like that?—and she would lie on her front, chin on her hands, gazing at him in wonder. As she studied his unclothed body moving, she couldn't help recalling some of the scenes she'd witnessed in La Marais. Applying the general ideas to him, her curiosity grew each minute.

Every morning, she'd joined him at the basin to explore him as he struggled to concentrate on shaving. She'd run her fingers over his backside, then to his torso and lower, which always earned her a trip to the bed.

Her attraction to him was getting worse. Every encounter between them made her want two more, and her affection for him wasn't far behind. Especially since he'd begun once again to demonstrate that sense of humor she'd enjoyed. Her heart melted each time he grated teasing words to her with a self-conscious grin.

At breakfast today, he'd looked out from behind his paper and said, "Have you been cheating when you gamble on board?"

"As if I need to. Winning against the passengers is as challenging as hunting cows."

"Doona scoff, young lass," he'd said, making his brogue low and rumbling. "Cows can be wily beasts."

She'd batted her eyelashes as she asked, "Ethan, would you lay down your life to protect me if a cow had me cornered?"

"Aye"—he'd resumed reading—"I'd smite the bovine down."

Maddy had laughed until he'd folded the paper down, with his brows drawn and his lips curling into that unpracticed grin.

She sighed happily. MacCarrickwould resist her, of course.Ah, but in the end, it will do him no good.

She decided, then and there, in the middle of a hand of blackjack, that she was going to make the Highlander fall in love with her.

The problem with telling Madeleine not to be underfoot was that she'd listened.

Ethan had expected her to make a friend or maybe two—not to gather up a gaggle of women to follow her around and emulate everything she did. They'd even stopped donning jewelry because she wore none.

Though Madeleine had proved to be charming and sociable, Ethan was still surprised at the sheer ease with which she'd made friends. Having never quite managed the feat himself, he'd always believed it difficult.