Double Clutch - Реинхардт Лиз (книги полностью бесплатно TXT) 📗
“You don’t have to tell me.” A big part of me wanted him to stop. There was a huge element of morbid curiosity, and I also wanted to know the honest truth, even if it was going to hurt. But I was in way over my head, and I had the distinct feeling I would drown in all of it.
“I have to.” His voice shook hard. “Man, I should have just done this in one clip.” He stopped and took a ragged breath. “That night, Saxon was there, and I couldn’t stop drinking. He wasn’t doing anything I could put my finger on, but it was like I wanted to show him that I wasn’t a lightweight, or that I could control myself. It sounds so damn stupid now. But I got really, really drunk. That’s the night my tooth got chipped and I woke up in someone’s bed with no shoes. The girl told me Saxon had punched me in the mouth and broke my tooth. She told me he took my shoes and told her to take me to her house or he’d kill me.”
“Why?” I was a little sad by how shocked I wasn’t.
“I have no idea. I swear. I never talked to him again. I never answered his calls, I never went to another party. And I never drank after that night.”
“Jake.” I sighed.
“Yeah, I know. I hate a guy because I got drunk and he might have stolen my shoes and broke my tooth. It sounds ridiculous.”
“No, it doesn’t.” I fell back on my bed and stared at the ceiling without seeing it at all. “Saxon has a way about him, and he’s tricky.”
We sat in silence, both of us thinking about how Saxon had managed to make us feel something we didn’t want to feel or do something we didn’t want to do.
“He likes you Bren.” Jake’s voice was barely audible. “Oh God, he’s done this a hundred times with a hundred girls, but I never cared about any of them until now.”
“You think I’d leave you to go out with Saxon?” I asked, my voice a little high with rage.
Finally, Jake laughed a little. “Well, when you get all bent out of shape like that it gives me hope that you won’t.”
“I don’t like Saxon, Jake.” I debated telling him about Saxon’s annoying presence, about the kiss, about the ride. But, in the end, I felt like enough had been confessed. Or maybe I was just plain chicken.
“He has a way of growing on people,” Jake warned.
“Like a fungus,” I griped. He laughed again.
“So, what are we going to do about Saturday?”
“Don’t get pissed,” I started.
“Brenna,” he said, his voice a little cracked. “I’m never pissed at you. I’ve been really unfair so far, and you’ve been nothing but awesome to me. Don’t hold back. I promise you, I won’t get pissed at anything you have to say.”
“Saxon is kind of fishing for something. Let’s let him see we’re stronger than that. He seemed like he genuinely missed hanging out with you. Why don’t we let him see we can be together around him and it will be on our terms?”
As I said it, I felt a red WARNING sign flash in my head. Jake and I were amateurs. Saxon was the king of head games, and messing with him was only asking for trouble.
Despite those intensely sane reasons, I wanted to do this. And I wasn’t about to admit to myself the reasons why.
“I don’t love the idea of you being alone with him.” I could tell he was moody by the clipped way the words fell out of his mouth.
“Why don’t we ask Saxon to pick you up first?” I suggested. “Then you can both come and get me, and we’ll all go to Vernon.”
“That’s a lot of driving for him,” Jake said uncertainly.
“Are you worried about his gas mileage?” I laughed.
“Do you think he’ll agree?” Jake asked, not even laughing with me.
“Yes, I do.”
It took him a few seconds. “Okay. It’s a deal.” He was quiet again. “Do you mind if we talk about something else?”
“I would love it.”
“I wish I could see you right now.”
“I know exactly how you feel.” I wriggled against my pillows.
“What are you wearing?” His voice twined deep and low in my ears.
I felt a rash of goosebumps prickle over my skin. “A blue tank top and black underwear.”
He let a long breath crush out of his lungs. “It’s snowing out, Brenna,” he scolded, his voice a little shaky.
“My mom keeps the heat on really high.” I ran my hand over the skin that peeked out in the gap between my tank and my underwear, and I wished it was Jake’s hand instead. “So what are you wearing?”
“Just my boxers.” It was like I could feel his blush right through the phone.
“Jake Kelly, it’s snowing,” I scolded back. I wondered what he looked like in just his boxers. I was sure that was the point of this whole game. We were supposed to wonder what the other would look like, feel like. I had never actually seen his chest and stomach, but I knew it would be rippled with muscle because I had felt it through his old shirts.
“I don’t have pajamas or anything. I don’t know. If I had them I might wear them. This house lets so much wind in, you’d think you were outside.”
I felt the familiar sadness for Jake that bobbed up whenever I thought too much about where he lived or what his life was like outside of school. “Are you cold?”
“Nah. I’ve got blankets. It would help if I had you here.”
“How was work today?” I didn’t exactly want to get away from our topic, but it was making my head spin and my heart race, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
“Crappy and cold. My hands feel like they’re going to fall off.”
“Don’t you wear gloves?” I remembered how red and chapped his hands were when he walked me out after school this afternoon.
“You can’t for everything. I drove the tractor today, and it’s hard to grip the steering wheel and the shift stick with gloves on. I’m just bitching, though, Brenna. Work was alright because this is the week that I get the big paycheck.” His voice glowed with pride.
“What’s the big paycheck?” His enthusiasm was contagious, as usual, and I found myself free-falling into the excitement with him.
“It’s the one that will fix my truck. I think it’ll get the motor going, and once that happens, I’m ready for my license.”
I laughed, because he sounded like such a happy little kid. “You can’t wait to get your license, huh?”
“Of course I can’t wait. I mean, I was always excited, but now that I have you, I really can’t wait.” I could hear the smile in his slow, deep voice.
