Arsen: a broken love story - Asher Mia (читать книги онлайн бесплатно серию книг .txt) 📗

Heart beating wildly.

Dry mouth.

Palms sweating.

The fog that wrapped itself around me like an anesthetic cocoon in the past week begins to slowly dissipate as I drink in his ravaged beauty with eyes so thirsty they feel dry. His cheeks appear sunken and hollow, it looks like he has lost weight, and his clothes, usually so pristine, look worn and dirty.

Arsen.

Finally.

When a stranger shouts something at him, Arsen lifts his face, but his gaze doesn’t land on the audience. It lands on me. My heart seizes to beat when our eyes first connect, but his blue gaze is like a defibrillator to my chest, sending warm electric shocks bringing me back to life.

Empty eyes explore and study me closely as a potent shiver travels down my spine, leaving me cold in its wake. I watch Arsen close his eyes as he lifts a shaky palm to push some of his blond hair off his face, highlighting the contours of his perfect arms and chest. After a moment of respite, he shakes his head once and lifts his eyes to stare at the audience, avoiding looking in my direction.

Completely ignoring me.

I feel an intense pain in the back of my throat, making it hard to swallow as I watch him stand up, walk to the edge of the stage, and lean over the crowd to say something to a group of girls standing closest to him. Giggling, they nudge each other until one of them, the one wearing the shortest skirt, shimmies out of her thong and hands it to him. His eyes empty, he smiles charmingly and puts the disgusting item in the front pocket of his shirt. Once he’s done flirting, or whatever you want to call it, Arsen makes his way back to the stool and sits down. When a young guy with a guitar approaches him, Arsen turns his back to the audience, the girls forgotten, and begins to talk to him.

Feeling a small hand wrap around my upper arm, I tear my gaze away from the stage to stare at Sali who’s currently scrutinizing me with her big pretty brown eyes.

“Don’t mind that. He’s just fucking with everyone. On a good note, he doesn’t look as drunk as before, but I’m still afraid he’s going to make a fool of himself. When he’s done with the song, Alec is going to get him off the stage, and that’s your opportunity to make him leave with you. Oh wait! Where is your husband? Did he go home because that would be totally cool. Maybe you could drive Alec’s Porsche?”

I get the feeling that Sali doesn’t want Ben here.

“Yes. Ben, my husband, is here with me. Well, he should be here any moment now. We couldn’t find a parking spot.”

“Oh. Well, never mind. Just get him out of here, ‘kay?”

“Babe, I gotta go to the stage. I don’t know what Arsen wants to do, but I gotta be there. You cool?”

After a quick peck on the lips, Sali tells Alec to go and kill it, and to make sure Arsen doesn’t make the biggest mistake of his life. I don’t understand why singing a song would be such a terrible thing. As a matter of fact, it makes me feel proud of him.

“Um, Is Arsen any good?” I hate how shaky my voice sounds.

“Fuck, yeah! He’s awesome! Alec has been trying to get him to join the band, but he won’t do it. I personally think he doesn’t want to deal with the fame. I mean, look at the guy! He’s popular enough without being in a band.”

“Is Momo popular?”

“They do okay.” She smiles at me, pride shining through her eyes. “Anyway, look! They’re starting. Let’s hope Arsen is able to sing after the alcohol binge he’s been on since last Thursday night.”

I steal a glance in his direction and see him talking to Alec as his hand covers the microphone. Alec seems to be trying to talk some sense into Arsen who is shaking his head mulishly at him, then Alec throws his hands in the air and walks away from Arsen, leaving him all alone. A smile so cruel it could be a sneer crosses his lips as he stares at his feet. When he lifts his eyes to look at the audience, I feel the small hairs lift on the back of my neck.

Slurring his words a little, I hear the voice I thought I would never hear again and it makes me happy.

So happy.

“I’m not going to introduce myself because there’s no fucking point. According to my father I’m a fucking nobody, and it’s cool.” He runs his hand through his hair and lets it settle on his nape. “I agree with him. Anyway, my friend Alec, who likes to pretend he’s a struggling musician when he could probably buy a damn record label himself, has allowed me to grace you all with my shitty and worthless talent. Hope you enjoy it. Oh, yeah, I forgot. I dedicate this song to a friend of mine.”

Oh no. Don’t.

Arsen laughs into the microphone at his own private joke, but his next words destroy me. “You see, she’s this pretty little thing. Fucking beautiful, really. And she has dimples, the prettiest fucking dimples you’ve ever seen. But she’s married, loves her man, and that doesn’t work for me because I want her. Really fucking bad.” The crowd goes crazy with his words, but I can’t hear anything.

I’m deaf to the loud sounds around me.

His words are all I can hear.

All I want to hear.

In a few sentences, he has shattered all my foolish illusions that we were friends, just friends. He has spoken the final truth that I cannot deny anymore.

And it hurts.

It hurts so much because I did this. I allowed it to happen.

“Anyway, this is for her.” As the words leave his mouth, he lifts his gaze from the audience until it lands on me.

When our eyes connect, we stare as if the world didn’t exist around us. As if it was only the two of us.

Fire and Ice.

Clutching myself tighter in my arms, I want to run and escape this room. I want to leave him behind, but I can’t. My feet are stuck to my spot on the dirty and wet floor, watching him about to crash and burn, bringing me down with him.

Without breaking eye contact, he shatters my heart with his lyrics.

In the shadows of the other man, in the shadows of the other man.

In the shadows of the other man, I can hear your voice calling for me, calling for me.

Green-eyed beauty with a heart of steel, heart of steel.

Open your eyes, open your eyes and see me, see me.

Witch, you hypnotize me with your wicked ways and with your body of white chocolate temptation. Let me taste you before I rip my brains out, my brains out.

I wander aimlessly through the pages of my broken love story trying to find my way back to you.

In the shadows of the other man, in the shadows of the other man.

In the shadows of the other man, I can hear my soul crying out for you, crying out for you.

Soul catcher, soul stealer, give me back my soul. Without my soul, I am nothing, Without you I am nothing, I am nothing.

In the shadows of the other man, in the shadows of the other man.

In the shadows of the other man, I am nothing.

I am nothing.

I feel chills run over my body. I feel hot and cold…so cold. I’m shaking, and so hot my cheeks are burning. Arsen’s words are spinning in my head, making me dizzy.

I can’t.

I can’t do this.

Excusing myself, I try to walk calmly toward the washroom without breaking into a run. My steps shaky, I feel eyes on me. Everywhere. A nagging voice in my head tells me that I should worry about Ben. What if he saw the whole performance and connects the dots? But I can’t. I have to get out of here and deal with the consequences later.

I need to be alone.

Once in the restroom, I give up attempting to cool myself with a wet paper towel, and splash my face with water instead. It works a little, but I still feel my face burning. Lifting my eyes to the mirror, I panic at the emotions painted on my face. I look flushed, almost feverish, and my eyes are shining again, a euphoric sparkle that shouldn’t be there.