Seduction and Snacks - Sivec Tara (читать онлайн полную книгу TXT) 📗
"Did you really just quote Cocktail to me right now?"
"Yes, yes I did. If you'd like me to go all crazy Tom Cruise and jump up and down on a couch for you, I'll totally do it."
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I WOULD RATHER TAKE IT UP THE ASS!"
Drew’s booming voice from the living room pulled our attentions away from each other. We took one last look at Gavin before closing his door, and then walked hand in hand down the hall to find everyone sitting around the living room playing a twisted game of "would you rather".
Claire and I sat down next to each other on the couch. I put my arm around her shoulders and she snuggled into my side. Nothing had felt this perfect in a long time.
"Alright, my turn," Drew said. "Jim, would you rather have your porn name be Hugh G. Rection or Mike Unstinks?"
15. I’m a Dirty Slut
"Chains and whips excite me...c-c-c-come on, come on...S-S-S-S-M-M-M..."
"Gavin Allen Morgan, if you don't stop singing that song I am going to put you on the curb for the garbage men to pick up," I yelled for the tenth time today as I finished cleaning up the kitchen from lunch.
"That's boring," Gavin muttered before stomping off to his room.
"Speaking of garbage, when is that Christy guy going to be here?" my dad asked from his seat at the kitchen table.
Why is everyone determined to get on my nerves today?
"It's CARTER, Dad. Stop being an ass. He'll be here when he wakes up."
My dad made a production of looking down at his wrist where there wasn’t even a watch.
“It’s 12:48. What kind of a slacker is this guy?”
I threw the dish towel on the counter and turned to give my dad a dirty look.
“He works the nightshift, dad. We’ve been over this already. One more comment out of you and I’m changing your Facebook status to “I love penis.”
I walked over to the fridge to add a few things to my shopping list that hung off of the freezer and tried not to glance at the clock. I was definitely anxious to see Carter.
I was up to my eyeballs in stuff for the grand opening and Carter was working a lot of overtime so we hadn't seen each other since the night of dinner a week earlier. But we talked on the phone and he also called a few times just to talk to Gavin, which totally made my heart melt.
Thoughts of our time in the storage room earned me extra credit in Liz Homework by making my way through my suitcase of "who needs a man" products for a second time. Liz got all choked up on the phone when I told her. It was a beautiful moment for the two of us.
I was working at the bar tonight so Carter was going to give me a ride up there. I called Liz and told her she and Jim should come so Carter wouldn't be bored.
"I think maybe I'll hide behind the couch and jump out when he gets here. Put the fear of George into him," my dad said with a nod of his head.
"Not funny. And don't you mean "fear of God"?"
He shrugged. "Same thing."
God said "Let there be light" and George Morgan flipped the switch.
This was the most my dad had spoken about Carter since they met. Granted, it wasn't very flattering but hey, it was progress. At least he was acknowledging his existence and not thinking up new ways to kill him. Dad had been going down the alphabet for a week now and finally stopped at the letter S.
Death by shopping cart suffocation, in case you were wondering.
The doorbell rang and I hurried to answer it. I wiped my hands on the front of my jeans, smoothed my hair and bent forward to reach my hand down the front of my shirt and tug each of the girls up so their prime real estate was on full display. I stood back up, took a deep breath and flung the door open. My heart actually skipped a beat when I saw Carter standing there.
"You know there are windows on either side of your door right? And that your curtains are see-through?" Carter said with a smirk.
Why? WHY, for the love of God!
"I would give you my entire paycheck for a month if you bent over in front of me and fluffed your boobs again," he said as he stepped through the door, and I closed it behind him.
I closed my eyes, fully prepared to be mortified and not make eye contact, but before I could wish for a giant hole in the floor to swallow me up, Carter’s lips were on mine. He slid his arm around my waist and pulled me up against him, cupping my cheek with his hand as he slid his tongue past my lips and slowly stroked it through my mouth. I could kiss this man for days and never get enough. His lips moved against mine, soft and sensually, while his hand slid from my cheek, down my neck, and stopped on the bare skin right above my heart. I wanted to reach up and push his hand down into my bra. My fists clutched onto the front of his shirt and a whimper escaped from me as his hand inched just a tiny bit lower. If my mouth wasn't fused to his right now, I might wonder if I said that last part out loud. Or maybe he could read my mind.
Touch my boobs. Do it. The power of my mind commands you.
His hand stopped its downward descent and I wanted to scream. His tongue continued to slide against mine ever so slowly and I really wished I had one of those green flags from the NASCAR races. I would've waved that thing all around. Wave it in the air like I just don't care.
Carter, start your engine! You have been given the green flag. All systems go. Hit the gas and let your hand grab the boob.
"If you touch my daughter's boobs while I'm standing right here, I'm gonna have to put taffy in your trachea until you terminate."
Carter and I broke apart so fast you would have thought we were teenagers that just got caught having sex instead of grown adults that had a child together.
"Did your dad just tell me he was going to choke me to death with taffy?" Carter whispered.
"Yeah. He's on the letter T. Behave or an umbrella up your Uranus will be in your future," I whispered back.
My father walked over to us and looked Carter up and down.
"You got any tattoos, son?"
Carter looked at me in confusion and I just shrugged my shoulders. You never knew what was going to come out of my dad's mouth.
"Uh, no. No, sir, I do not," Carter replied.
"You own a bike?"
"Well, I have a pretty nice mountain bike that's still in storage because I just haven't had time to take it out for a…"
"Motorcycle, Cathy," my father interrupted with a sigh of annoyance. "Do you own a motorcycle?"
Carter shook his head, “No, and my name is Cart-“
"You ever been arrested or get in a bar fight?" my dad interrupted.
"No, I've never been arrested or gotten into any kind of fight, Mr. Morgan," Carter said with a confident smile.
My dad leaned over towards me.
"Claire, are you sure this kid isn't gay?" he whispered to me.
"Jesus, Dad! No, he's not gay," I yelled back.
"Hey…" Carter said, insulted by my dad's question.
My dad turned to face Carter and sighed.
"Fine, you can date my daughter and get to know your son. But if you knock her up again…"
"DAD!"
My dad looked over at me with my hands on my hips and smoke practically coming out of my ears and then continued with his warning like I wasn’t there.
"…I will comb the face of the earth, hunt you down like a dog, and drop her cranky ass off on your doorstep. I'm not dealing with another nine months of Miss Pissy Pants over there."
Oh for the love of God.
I looked back and forth between them as they stared each other down.
