The Dare - Dyken Rachel Van (серии книг читать бесплатно .txt) 📗

I covered her mouth with my hand. "Let's establish mornings as quiet time. A time of reflection, and thinking, and—"

She bit my damn hand.

"Coffee."

"Bite marks." I showed her my hand.

"Woo me."

She fell back onto the bed in a heap, and I had to admit I liked the bossy attitude. I got up and started fumbling with the Keurig.

The shower turned on.

"I'm so proud!" I yelled without turning around. "You turned it on all by yourself."

And I turned myself on by saying turn on. Damn curse! I gave myself a little shake and placed the cup under the spout.

"Aghhh… mother of—"

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Absolute silence then an ear splintering, "Jace!"

I ran toward the bathroom.

"So big!" Beth yelled.

The shower was one of those walk-in ones, where there was no curtain or door or anything to hide any scratch of your body.

Beth was standing in the corner with a shampoo bottle in her hands, pointing at the opposite corner.

The first thing I noticed was her nakedness, but it was quickly trumped by another shout and a shampoo bottle flying by my head, causing another thump.

"Get him!"

A spider that looked a hell of a lot like a shrunken MMA fighter barreled toward me. Now, I wasn't a fan of spiders. I didn't hate them, but that didn't mean I particularly enjoyed the idea of something hairy sinking its fangs into me. So I did what any logical man would do.

I looked for a gun.

And when I realized I wasn't James Bond nor did I live in a spy novel, I grabbed the next best thing.

The hair dryer.

It wasn't plugged in, but it was big enough for combat. I smashed the hell out of the spider until all that was left were tufts of legs and pieces of hair.

"Did you get him?" Beth came up behind me, shivering.

"Yeah" I wiped my brow with my arm, "it was a battle. Lots of lives lost. Blood shed. But… I got him."

"My hero," she whispered, wrapping her arms around me from behind.

I froze.

Not because she was calling me her hero. Please, I wasn't that narcissistic. It was because she was naked. And she had forgotten about her nakedness at a very fortunate time.

Men everywhere: Applaud. I didn't even react. Not one gasp or shudder. I simply basked.

Basking: Another word for utter stillness when a lady is pressing against you in such an erotic way all you can do is close your eyes and smile. See also: Euphoria.

"I'm naked." Beth released her hold. My body immediately tightened in all the wrong places, and I'm ashamed to admit, I let out a pathetic whine. Or maybe it was a growl, because the next thing I knew, I was turning around and pushing her into the shower, up against the wall, and taking her like a—

Great, so not only had I frozen in a euphoric state, but I had resorted to daydreaming.

"Thanks." I saw movement out of the corner of my eye as Beth leaned back under the shower and closed her eyes.

It was like watching my own personal Pantene Pro-V commercial, only the girl was hotter and available.

But not to me.

Not in reality.

"Are you going to watch me, or are you going to get ready?" Beth said, water dripping from her face.

"Do I get a choice?" I half-pleaded.

"No, but you'll get a knee to your balls if you don't leave in five seconds. The spider's gone, you've saved the world, now take your hammer and go."

"Uh, hammer?"

"Hammer, hair dryer — same thing. Go, Thor. Go get your cape on. We have therapy."

Men. We're easy. No really, we are. She'd basically called me an Avenger, which, in my book, meant I was like two steps ahead of Iron Man, and a hell-of-a-lot better-looking.

I sported a smug grin the entire time I got ready.

****

Thanks to the water-stealing princess, I wasn't able to shower in time. And Doctor Z had specifically said that we needed to be on time. Not wanting to start off therapy on a bad foot, I took one for the team.

"It's only an hour, and then we have what the schedule states as Couple Fun Time by the pool." Beth checked her watch and handed me the map of the place.

I locked the door to our hut and turned the map sideways.

"North," I said, examining the red circle that said Serenity Circle.

"I don't like that name." Beth snorted. "It sounds like a place to get high."

"If they have drugs, just say no." I stuffed the paper into front pocket of my lame-ass linen shirt and grabbed her hand.

"What are you doing?" She tried to pull away.

I held tighter. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Holding my hand." She squeezed back, and then a girlish smile appeared, all sense of hostility evaporating instantly.

"That I am." I pulled her closer and inhaled. Damn, her shampoo smelled good. "You said you wanted six days of a fairytale. I thought holding hands was a good place to start."

"Oh."

Her face turned crimson, and I instantly felt it in my gut as if someone had taken a baseball bat and beat me crapless.

She'd never had her hand held.

I'd bet money on it.

Girls didn't blush over things like that. Most girls didn't give a rat's ass. What type of man wouldn't hold her hand? What type of man wouldn't first at least try to woo the shit out of her?

Wrong wording. One should not woo shit out of anyone, but I digress.

Sighing, we walked hand-in-hand toward the building, and I made myself a promise. One I knew I would most likely regret this time next week.

I was going to actually try. I was going to leave my baggage at the door, check into the happy romance hotel, and make her feel wanted.

And when it was time to leave, I'd do so without looking back. But I'd also do so without any regrets, and that was reason enough to take the leap.

Chapter Thirteen

"How did the senator take to being cursed?"

"He wasn't tickled pink, that much I know. He threw my very expensive fertility necklace into the ocean!"

"Tragic loss," the man said dryly.

"Oh it was!" Grandma pounded her tiny fist onto the metal table. "One can't simply purchase fertility necklaces anywhere!"

"I wouldn't know."

"Well, I would." Grandma sniffed. "After all, I've spent years collecting them, storing them in my grandsons' cars, houses, offices, boats—"

"Ma'am, are you saying you've been this way for… years?"

"What way?"

"Insane."

Grandma smiled. "Some people's definition of insanity is genius. What's your take, Gus?"

"My name's not Gus."

"You look like a Gus. I'm going to go with Gus."

The agent looked longingly back at the glass window. "I think it's time for a break."

Beth

Holding hands with Jace was like riding a school bus for the first time. You were all sixes and sevens with your own body. Not sure who to sit by, not exactly positive you were at the right stop, so you keep looking out the window to make sure you didn't miss your own house. And then when you did per chance miss your stop, you couldn't care less because you'd already made friends with everyone and were really enjoying the ride.