Frozen - Casey L.A. (бесплатные книги онлайн без регистрации txt) 📗

I wished I used a different word instead of cow when Neala's face twisted in rage. I stepped away from her in case she decided to unleash her building fury upon me.

"You kept me hostage all night, had your parrot insult me all morning, and now you're calling me fat?"

Oh, Jesus.

I was going to die today.

I didn't answer Neala nor did I try to explain that I wasn't calling her fat. Instead, I turned and ran out of the kitchen so fast I left a smoke trail behind me. I didn't care if it made me a coward, a bitch, or anything else. No one else knows how hard Neala can punch, and from the look in her rage filled eyes, I knew she would aim for my balls if given the chance and I wasn't giving her that opportunity.

"Darcy!" she bellowed from behind me.

I could hear her feet smack against my tiled kitchen floor, and for a moment, I wished she would slip and fall so she would be preoccupied and wouldn't come after me.

Was that mean?

"Shite!" I yelped when what could only be described as a semi heavy-set monkey jumped on my back.

I instinctively reached up and grabbed Neala's arms when she tried to wrap them around my neck. I was ready for that move this time around. When she pulled the same stunt in Symths on Wednesday, I wasn't ready for her to almost strangle me, but today I was.

Not today, Clarke.

Not today!

"Are you crazy?" I snapped and tried to wriggle her off my back, but like a spider monkey she clung onto me for dear life.

I tried to wiggle her off some more, but when those efforts failed I grunted and walked into my living room where I tried to forward flip her off my back and onto my couch, and when that didn't work I got annoyed and decided to play dirty. I let go of her arms and reached behind my back and tickled down her sides all the way down to her outer thighs. This was one hundred percent effective because Neala was ticklish, extremely ticklish.

"Bastard!" she screeched and let go of me.

She fell backwards and landed on her back on my red oak wooden floor with a mighty thud.

I winced as I turned around and looked down at her.

I placed my hands on my hips and sighed, "Are you okay, monkey?"

Neala made a noise that wasn't exactly human, and it freaked me out. I was afraid to lean down in case she was faking and grabbed at me with her hands, so instead I reached out with my right leg and nudged her with my foot to make sure she was still alive.

"Darcy," she growled through her pain. "Get your disgusting foot away from me right now."

I inwardly grinned at her threatening outburst.

She was fine.

"Still afraid of men's feet?" I asked and raised my leg so I could wriggle my foot around in front of her face just to annoy her further.

She screeched and pushed herself away from me.

"Not afraid, just repulsed," she spat.

I looked down at my foot then back up to Neala's curled lip of disgust and smirked.

She growled at me, "Don't even think about it."

I raised a curious eyebrow. "Think about what?"

"Whatever nasty thing that is going through your tiny mind right now."

She never missed a chance to insult me.

I raised my hands in the air. "I'm not thinking about doing anything, therefore I'm not going to do anything... You on the other hand, are."

Neala slowly got herself to her feet.

I swallowed when her dress rose a little higher up her thighs than it should have. I swallowed again and looked away when she gripped the hem and tugged it down.

"What am I going to do?" she asked, her voice strained as she shook away the pain from her fall.

I looked at her face and grinned. "You're going to get out of me house."

Neala stared at me with unblinking eyes. "What?"

"You're are leaving me house. Right now, actually," I said and reached up to scratch my head.

I ruffled my hair a little to help get rid of the just-out-of-bed look. Neala moved slow like a zombie as she trained her eyes on me and followed my movements and stared at me a little longer than normal. She even bit down on her lower lip as she trailed her eyes over me in a slow leisurely matter.

Interesting.

"Neala," I called out and snapped my fingers to get her attention.

She jumped a little then narrowed her eyes when she saw my smirk and knew I caught her checking me out. I could also see the moment she became disgusted with herself for realising what she was doing, and that I caught her in the act.

"Why are you in just a pair of trousers?" she snapped and made a big show of looking away from my chest and stomach.

I laughed, "Maybe because your banging on the storage room door woke me up and didn't leave me time to pull on more than a pair of trousers?"

Neala scoffed, "Whatever, just... just go put some more clothes on."

And miss her being this flustered?

Not a chance.

"Nah, I like wearing just these trousers. The fabric is thin and I like feeling the crisp morning air tickle me balls."

Neala reached down and grabbed a cushion from my couch and flung it at me.

I caught it and laughed loudly.

"Stop being a dick!"

"Never." I grinned.

Neala screeched in annoyance and left the living room. She didn't go in the direction of the kitchen though, she took a right turn which would lead her to my bedroom, dining room or my bathroom. And the bathroom was off limits for at least another two or three hours. Even though I cleaned up and the room was spotless - I wouldn't risk my lungs in that room just yet. It was under biohazard quarantine until further notice.

"Neala!" I called out and quickly began to follow her. "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom. I've been in your bleeding make shift prison all night, I need to wee," Neala snapped.

Oh, my God.

"Uh, Neala, I wouldn't go in there if-"

"I'm not listening to your bullshit anymore, Darcy. Just tell me which door is for the bathroom and I won't murder you!" Neala snapped, her voice close to that of a growl.

I leaned against the living room doorway and eyed the she-devil.

Feck it, she didn't deserve my warning, what she deserved was to inhale a lung full of toxic gas since she was the cause of the stench in the first place.

"The first door on the left, before you near the last door along the hallway," I said, smiling.

Neala didn't thank me, instead she turned, walked a few paces down the hall and stood before the bathroom door. She opened it and stepped inside, slamming the door after her.

Three seconds passed before she screamed.

"DARCY!" she bellowed.

I burst into a fit of laughter, "That's what you get for giving me the shits - smell what you caused!"

She screamed and cursed for twenty solid seconds then the toilet flushed and she all but sprinted out of the room, her fingers plugged up her nose.

"That is fucking vile!" she bellowed in my direction. "What the fuck? It smelt like something crawled up inside your arse and died!"

I continued to laugh as Neala stormed down the hallway by me, and into the kitchen. I followed her and watched as she took off her blazer and threw it onto my kitchen table, then picked up the tea towel she threw at me a few minutes ago. I grinned as she moved to the kitchen sink and scrubbed her hands and up her arms with water and hand wash. She washed her face with water and then soaked the tea towel in water and rubbed it under her arms then leaned down and rubbed it up and down her legs.