Sister Carrie - Драйзер Теодор (читать хорошую книгу txt) 📗

Now, when Carrie heard Drouet’s laudatory opinion of her dramatic ability, her body tingled with satisfaction. Like the flame which welds the loosened particles into a solid mass, his words united those floating wisps of feeling which she had felt, but never believed, concerning her possible ability, and made them into a gaudy shred of hope. Like all human beings, she had a touch of vanity. She felt that she could do things if she only had a chance. How often had she looked at the well-dressed actresses on the stage and wondered how she would look, how delightful she would feel if only she were in their place. The glamour, the tense situation, the fine clothes, the applause, these had lured her until she felt that she, too, could act—that she, too, could compel acknowledgment of power. Now she was told that she really could—that little things she had done about the house had made even him feel her power. It was a delightful sensation while it lasted.

When Drouet was gone, she sat down in her rocking-chair by the window to think about it. As usual, imagination exaggerated the possibilities for her. It was as if he had put fifty cents in her hand and she had exercised the thoughts of a thousand dollars. She saw herself in a score of pathetic situations in which she assumed a tremulous voice and suffering manner. Her mind delighted itself with scenes of luxury and refinement, situations in which she was the cynosure of all eyes, the arbiter of all fates. As she rocked to and fro she felt the tensity of woe in abandonment, the magnificence of wrath after deception, the languour of sorrow after defeat. Thoughts of all the charming women she had seen in plays—every fancy, every illusion which she had concerning the stage—now came back as a returning tide after the ebb. She built up feelings and a determination which the occasion did not warrant.

Drouet dropped in at the lodge when he went down town, and swashed around with a great air, as Quincel met him.

“Where is that young lady you were going to get for us?” asked the latter.

“I’ve got her,” said Drouet.

“Have you?” said Quincel, rather surprised by his promptness; “that’s good. What’s her address?” and he pulled out his note-book in order to be able to send her part to her.

“You want to send her her part?” asked the drummer.

“Yes.”

“Well, I’ll take it. I’m going right by her house in the morning.”

“What did you say her address was? We only want it in case we have any information to send her.”

“Twenty-nine Ogden Place.”

“And her name?”

“Carrie Madenda,” said the drummer, firing at random. The lodge members knew him to be single.

“That sounds like somebody that can act, doesn’t it?” said Quincel.

“Yes, it does.”

He took the part home to Carrie and handed it to her with the manner of one who does a favour.

“He says that’s the best part. Do you think you can do it?”

“I don’t know until I look it over. You know I’m afraid, now that I’ve said I would.”

“Oh, go on. What have you got to be afraid of? It’s a cheap company. The rest of them aren’t as good as you are.”

“Well, I’ll see,” said Carrie, pleased to have the part, for all her misgivings.

He sidled around, dressing and fidgeting before he arranged to make his next remark.

“They were getting ready to print the programmes,” he said, “and I gave them the name of Carrie Madenda. Was that all right?”

“Yes, I guess so,” said his companion, looking up at him. She was thinking it was slightly strange.

“If you didn’t make a hit, you know,” he went on.

“Oh, yes,” she answered, rather pleased now with his caution. It was clever for Drouet.

“I didn’t want to introduce you as my wife, because you’d feel worse then if you didn’t go. They all know me so well. But you’ll go all right. Anyhow, you’ll probably never meet any of them again.”

“Oh, I don’t care,” said Carrie desperately. She was determined now to have a try at the fascinating game.

Drouet breathed a sigh of relief. He had been afraid that he was about to precipitate another conversation upon the marriage question.

The part of Laura, as Carrie found out when she began to examine it, was one of suffering and tears. As delineated by Mr. Daly, it was true to the most sacred traditions of melodrama as he found it when he began his career. The sorrowful demeanour, the tremolo music, the long, explanatory, cumulative addresses, all were there.

“Poor fellow,” read Carrie, consulting the text and drawing her voice out pathetically. “Martin, be sure and give him a glass of wine before he goes.”

She was surprised at the briefness of the entire part, not knowing that she must be on the stage while others were talking, and not only be there, but also keep herself in harmony with the dramatic movement of the scenes.

“I think I can do that, though,” she concluded.

When Drouet came the next night, she was very much satisfied with her day’s study.

“Well, how goes it, Caddie?” he said.

“All right,” she laughed. “I think I have it memorised nearly.”

“That’s good,” he said. “Let’s hear some of it.”

“Oh, I don’t know whether I can get up and say it off here,” she said bashfully.

“Well, I don’t know why you shouldn’t. It’ll be easier here than it will there.”

“I don’t know about that,” she answered.

Eventually she took off the ball-room episode with considerable feeling, forgetting, as she got deeper in the scene, all about Drouet, and letting herself rise to a fine state of feeling.

“Good,” said Drouet; “fine; out o’ sight! You’re all right, Caddie, I tell you.”

He was really moved by her excellent representation and the general appearance of the pathetic little figure as it swayed and finally fainted to the floor. He had bounded up to catch her, and now held her laughing in his arms.

“Ain’t you afraid you’ll hurt yourself?” he asked.

“Not a bit.”

“Well, you’re a wonder. Say, I never knew you could do anything like that.”

“I never did, either,” said Carrie merrily, her face flushed with delight.

“Well, you can bet that you’re all right,” said Drouet. “You can take my word for that. You won’t fail.”

CHAPTER XVII

A GLIMPSE THROUGH THE GATEWAY:

HOPE LIGHTENS THE EYE

THE, TO CARRIE, VERY important theatrical performance was to take place at the Avery on conditions which were to make it more noteworthy than was at first anticipated. The little dramatic student had written to Hurstwood the very morning her part was brought her that she was going to take part in a play.

“I really am,” she wrote, feeling that he might take it as a jest; “I have my part now, honest, truly.”

Hurstwood smiled in an indulgent way as he read this.

“I wonder what it is going to be? I must see that.”

He answered at once, making a pleasant reference to her ability. “I haven’t the slightest doubt you will make a success. You must come to the park to-morrow morning and tell me all about it.”

Carrie gladly complied, and revealed all the details of the undertaking as she understood it.

“Well,” he said, “that’s fine. I’m glad to hear it. Of course, you will do well, you’re so clever.”

He had truly never seen so much spirit in the girl before. Her tendency to discover a touch of sadness had for the nonce disappeared. As she spoke her eyes were bright, her cheeks red. She radiated much of the pleasure which her undertakings gave her. For all her misgivings—and they were as plentiful as the moments of the day—she was still happy. She could not repress her delight in doing this little thing which, to an ordinary observer, had no importance at all.

Hurstwood was charmed by the development of the fact that the girl had capabilities. There is nothing so inspiring in life as the sight of a legitimate ambition, no matter how incipient. It gives colour, force, and beauty to the possessor.