Young bloods - Scarrow Simon (читать книги полностью без сокращений txt) 📗

Even though it was the depth of winter, the school at Trim seemed far less foreboding to Arthur on his return from Dangan. Though he had few friends, most boys seemed happy to see him again and he felt the warm glow of acceptance, of finding a place for himself in the small world of the school. But only with Dr Buckleby did he feel free to express himself more openly, and only then because what passed between them was sufficiently far removed from the school that there was no prospect of any word of their discussions filtering back. The music teacher – as music teachers must be – proved to be an excellent listener and sat quietly as the child told of his despair that he would never master his school studies and achieve anything worthy of acclaim.

'Why do you crave acclaim so much, Arthur?' Dr Buckleby asked him one time.

'Why?' Arthur stared back at him. 'What else is there?'

'What do you mean, young man?'

'I have only this life.When it is done, I will look back and ask myself what I have achieved. I want to be able to give a satisfactory answer.'

'Don't we all?' Dr Buckleby smiled. 'And the question is somewhat more pressing for a man of my advanced years.'

'I see.'Arthur looked at him intently.'And how will you answer it, sir?'

'Putting aside the youthful impertinence of such a query, I should say that I have done the thing that most matters to me. Each time I pick up an instrument I create a moment of sublime order and beauty. What better thing can a man achieve in this world?'

Arthur frowned. 'I don't understand.'

Dr Buckleby sighed. 'I have the blood of a commoner and am therefore precluded from any hope of making my mark on the world. Faced with that, what can a man like me achieve? My talent with the violin was once the talk of London. But what was the value of that? I did not change the world. The only arenas where my class is permitted to parade its achievements are the arts and sciences. And why? Because the former provides pleasure for our rulers, and the latter sundry comforts and the tools of power. So, I have retreated from the world, and live here in Trim, where my needs are satisfied and my achievement is my own. Does that answer your question?'

Arthur considered this for a moment before replying, 'Not entirely. How can you be sure an achievement is worthwhile unless other men agree that it is? What if you were wrong? What if you were fooling yourself that you had achieved something worthwhile when you hadn't? How could you ever know?'

'I know I have achieved greatness with my music. That is all a man of my background could do.' Dr Buckleby patted him on the shoulder. 'It's much harder for you, Arthur. You're an aristocrat. You have opportunities that I never had. You can choose your path to greatness. You don't have to be a musician. But at the end of the day you will have to account for your decisions. And then live with the perpetual anxiety of making the wrong decision… All you will have to ease that anxiety is the word of other men. Now, then, are you still so sure of the value of such acclaim?'

Arthur stared at Dr Buckleby for a moment, and reflected. For the first time Arthur gained an insight into the character of his father, who had chosen to compose an ordered universe about himself from which ugliness and discordance were banished. He looked down at the rich veneer of his violin and then raised it to his shoulder and prepared his bow.

'Can we continue the lesson now, sir?'

Dr Buckleby nodded. 'I should be delighted to.'

Before the end of the term Arthur received a letter from his father informing him that a house had been found for the family in London. His mother was busy transferring the household from Dangan. As soon as they were settled in London they would find schools for the children and then send for them. Arthur was shocked by the news, and not certain how he felt about it. The idea of living in London was undeniably exciting. But it would mean leaving behind the house and grounds at Dangan, places he had known for as long as he remembered and which felt like a part of him. He would be leaving the school at Trim as well, a matter of some regret since he now felt comfortable there and would have to repeat the whole agonising experience of entering some new school in London. But worst of all the move would mean losing Dr Buckleby.

Arthur kept the news to himself and continued attending the violin lessons, concentrating on improving his technique as far as possible before it was time to quit Trim for the distant cosmopolitan world of London. For his part, the music teacher was bemused by the boy's sudden intense concentration, but the rapid improvement in his skill diverted Dr Buckleby's attention from anything that might be amiss. So, in the few months that remained to them Arthur continued to master the violin and his teacher continued to delight in the boy's progress.

Until one day Arthur turned up at the small cottage and knocked at the door. The heavy tread of shoes announced Dr Buckleby's approach on the far side and the door was opened. From the expressionless features on the man's face Arthur knew at once that something was wrong. Something had changed. His teacher led him through to the music room without a word and sat heavily on his chair while Arthur took out his instrument.

Dr Buckleby coughed.'As this will be our last lesson, I thought we might try something a little different.'

Arthur felt the blood chill in his veins. 'I beg your pardon, sir?'

'Our last lesson, Arthur. You know what I'm talking about. I received a letter from your father yesterday. To thank me for teaching you and to settle accounts. It seems you are shortly to leave Trim for London. Of course, I shall be sad to lose such a promising student. Boys of your calibre are few and far between.'

'I – I shan't forget what you have taught me. Everything that you have taught me.'

'I sincerely hope not. Now, then…' Dr Buckleby leaned forward, removed Arthur's sheet music and replaced it with a new composition. 'We'll try this.'

Arthur's eyes scanned the sheets and at once realised the challenge that had been set for him. The fingering and timing were far more sophisticated than anything he was used to.Yet, he had read enough music to pick up the sense of the melody and was immediately struck by its melancholic tone.

'I don't recognise this.'

'I'm not surprised. Come, let us see how you cope with it.'

After an hour of struggling with the composition Dr Buckleby finally relented and permitted his student to set down his instrument.

'It would seem that there's still much to learn.'

'Yes, sir.' Arthur felt he had let the man down.

'And now our time is up. Pack up your instrument.'

Arthur placed it back in its case in silence as Dr Buckleby retrieved the new piece from the stand and stood by the door. He escorted Arthur from the room and then held the front door open. Arthur stepped outside of the cottage, then hesitantly turned round and offered Dr Buckleby his hand.

'Farewell then, sir.'

'Goodbye, young Wesley.' The teacher pumped his hand. 'Remember, keep your back straight and your scroll up.'

'Yes, sir.'

'And, er, this is for you.' Dr Buckleby's heavy cheeks coloured as he held the new piece of music out to his student. Arthur received it with a nod of thanks.

'You're very kind. May I ask who composed it, sir?'

'I did.' Dr Buckleby smiled. 'I wrote it for you. Perhaps one day, when you have mastered it, you might come and play it for me.'

Arthur's heart ached with gratitude for the man's kindness. 'I don't know what to say.'

'Then I'll bid you good day, sir. I must prepare for my next student.'

Both knew it was a deceit.There were no other students today. Arthur took his leave and turned down the path, hearing the door close gently behind him.