In Your Heart - Smeltzer Micalea (хороший книги онлайн бесплатно txt) 📗

My hands began to wander up his chest and he grabbed my hands, pinning them above my head.

His hips dug into mine, and—holy hell.

A breathy sigh escaped me and his tongue pressed beyond my parted lips.

My knees began to quake.

I had never been kissed like this before.

No, that was a lie.

A kiss had never felt like this before.

Our lips moved together like they were singing the same song.

My fingers twitched in his grasp, desperate to touch him, but his hold only tightened.

I had never expected Ezra to be this rough, and aggressive, and hot. He was always so nice and gentle, but apparently there was a side to him I’d never experienced before and I was all for getting to know this part of him…intimately, and by the bulge pressing between my thighs he was up for that too. No pun intended.

“Finally.” He breathed the word against my lips before pulling my bottom lip between his teeth and letting it go.

I moaned and my hips jerked forward.

A chuckle rumbled in his throat and then he deepened the kiss.

My brain grew fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, but the last thing I wanted to do was stop kissing him.

With one last slow stroke of his tongue he retreated and he let go of my hands. They fell onto his shoulder and my chest pressed against his with each breath I took.

He reached up, caressing his fingers lightly against my cheek. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long. You have no idea.”

My eyes closed and I chanted in my head, this has to be a dream.

But when I opened my eyes Ezra still stood there and my lips were swollen from his kisses.

“Why now?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

“Because,” his teeth ground together, “seeing you with Hayes…” He looked away, fighting to gain control of his temper. “It was even worse than seeing you with Braden. At least I had a legitimate reason to hate him, but Hayes? I couldn’t hate that guy if I tried, and that made it a thousand times worse.”

“What do we do now?” I asked.

“It was only a kiss.” He started to pull away, but I tightened my hold around his neck.

“No, don’t you dare say that,” I spat.

“Sadie—”

“Please, stop.” I laid my head against his chest. “Please, don’t take it back.”

“I wasn’t going to.” I felt his fingers smooth through my hair.

“Why won’t you let this—let us happen?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed and he peered down at me. “You’re my best friend,” he reminded me yet again, “what if things didn’t work out between us? I can’t lose you.”

“And I’m not worth the risk,” I snapped, the words laced with venom as I reared back. I shook my head at him and stormed away, up the steps, and slammed my bedroom door like a surly teenager.

Rejected, yet again.

IT HAD BEEN a week since our kiss.

Seven whole days.

And in those seven days I hadn’t spoken one word to him.

He’d talked plenty though. He liked to tell me my behavior was ‘childish’ and I guess the silent treatment was childish, but I was afraid if I opened my mouth to talk to him I might scream.

I was so incredibly frustrated, and hurt, and…horny.

Yeah, that last one really sucked.

I’d avoided Ezra’s place as much as I could—usually hanging out with Maddox and Emma. But they were annoying to be around after a while. I honestly didn’t know how they were still so lovey dovey after being together for four years. Or was it five? I’d lost count. But they were still all over each other and I could only handle Maddox sticking his tongue down her throat so many times.

Now, I was sequestered in my bedroom while Ezra made dinner.

He always made enough for me too—and then I would make a point of not eating it. Even if it meant I OD’d on sour patch kids or something else equally sugar filled that I kept hidden in my room.

Tonight was different, though.

I had an idea, one I hoped he’d go for.

Although, after my silent treatment he was probably apt to kick me out and not listen to what I had to say.

I paced restlessly around the small bedroom that had become mine the past month.

This idea of mine…it was crazy.

Stupid, even.

The chances of Ezra agreeing were slim.

The chance of him laughing in my face, however, was a high percentage.

I blamed Remy for this idea.

Yep, it was all her fault.

She’d planted the seed in my brain and now I couldn’t get this festering thought out of my head and I had to act on it.

I had to do something.

Because tiptoeing around this was impossible.

I pressed my ear against my bedroom door, listening intently like a nosy teenager eavesdropping on a conversation. I waited until I heard the kitchen chair scrape against the hardwood floors before darting down the stairs.

I had to do this fast before I lost the courage.

Ezra looked up when he heard me, the burger he’d grilled halfway to his mouth and another sitting on a plate in front of him waiting for me.

Before he could say anything the words tumbled out of my mouth.

“I have a proposition for you.”

His brows quirked and he set the burger down without taking a bite. He motioned to the empty chair in front of him and I quickly sat.

He folded his fingers together and stared at me with that intense dark gaze that always sent me reeling.

“You haven’t spoken one word to me in a week, and the first thing you say to me is that you have a proposition for me…I’m really looking forward to hearing this.” He tipped the chair back so that the front two legs came off the ground.

While I tried to gather myself he continued to stare at me, his fingers stroking the heavy stubble on his face.

I laid my palms flat on the cool surface of the table and took a deep breath.

You’ve got this, Sadie! I tried to pep talk myself, but it wasn’t working.

“I want you to fuck me.” Shit. That hadn’t been how I was planning to lead into this. I quickly added, “Just sex. That’s it. Not a relationship. You don’t want to lose our friendship, and I don’t either, but we have a mutual attraction and I don’t think we should fight it. I’m proposing that while I live here—which I promise to be out in the next two months or so—we should have sex.”

The chair clamored back to the floor and his mouth hung open.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I squirmed, “I’m not crazy. This is a rational idea. We’re adults. We can have sex without it complicating things.”

“So…” He started, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what I’d said. “You want us to be friends…with benefits.” His lips twitched with laughter.

I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin defiantly. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“You’re serious?” He sobered, his expression back to shock.

“Very serious.”

He looked at me carefully, like he was searching for any sign that I might be lying.

“Sadie—”

“Don’t say no yet,” I pleaded, “and don’t say yes either. Just…just think about it. Please?”

He breathed in shakily. “Okay.”

I was surprised he agreed to that so readily. I expected him to slam me with a firm no and tell me there was no way he would ever sleep with me.

I wanted so much more from him than sex, but I knew he would never cross that particular line with me.

But sex, he might.

Sex did not a relationship make.

Four days passed and neither one of us peeped a word about my proposal. I was too embarrassed to bring it up, and I guessed he’d been counting on that.

I turned on the TV switching it to Hallmark and sat down to watch whatever sappy movie they were playing. I needed a good cry and a bowl of cookie dough ice cream—which reminded me Ezra had mentioned picking some up at the grocery store. Well, actually his groceries were delivered so he could avoid getting mobbed at the store, but logistics.