Of Beast and Beauty - Jay Stacey (читать хорошую книгу txt) 📗

afraid I buried every memory of my life before I heard it, in an attempt to

keep myself from remembering what I had been asked to do. But I’m not

afraid anymore.

I am finished with my fearful heart. I am ready. I am brave.

Are you certain? Needle mouths.

“Yes. But I want you to go first,” I say, refusing to meet her sad eyes.

I look at the pile of bricks in the corner instead. Needle has been

gathering them—one by one, two by two—for the past month. As soon as

Bo left this afternoon—lips pressed into a thin line after all his pleading

won him nothing but a pat on the shoulder and a walk to the door—she

began pulling the bricks from their hiding places.

Tonight is the night. Tonight I will build my own walls.

First, a barrier to cover up the entrance to the tower, then a wall in

front of my bedroom door, and finally another behind. It should be enough

to hold the soldiers until tomorrow morning. And maybe even a bit longer.

It will be enough.

The city is on the brink.

Suddenly, this very morning, Yuan went from ailing to falling to

pieces. The walls began to crumble. Above our heads, the dome groans like

a field animal that’s swallowed something foul. Needle says only the nobles

still believe the city can be saved. The people from the Banished camp, the

farmers and their remaining livestock, and all but a few of the commoners

from the city center are fleeing into the desert, bound for Port South.

I hope they make it there safely. I don’t wish them any pain, but the

cost of saving Yuan is too great. The Dark Heart will not feed from this city

again.

I’ve failed to end the curse and heal our planet—either Gem is dead

or he never loved me the way I love him; I suppose I’ll never know

which—but I won’t fail in this. I’ll take one city away from the darkness.

Yuan will fall, and there will be only two cities left. And maybe someday, in

one of those cities, a girl or a boy will look out into the desert and see

someone who makes him or her want to change the world.

I close my eyes and see Gem’s face as clearly as ever. Nearly three

months, and I can still remember the way his eyes reflected the candlelight,

the warmth of his skin, the feel of his lips.

Bo didn’t mar that memory. He has been a better unwanted king

than I could have imagined—he has never stolen so much as a kiss. He has

refused to take what wasn’t freely offered.

Not a kiss, and certainly not my life.

I knew he’d been sent to kill me today. I knew it before he said a

word, before he fell to his knees, begging me to save the city and spare at

least one woman’s life. He warned me that his father would come tonight

with his own knife. Bo can’t protect me any longer. This evening, Junjie will

arrive at the tower to slit my throat, and Bo will marry another. The woman

has already been chosen, a woman older than Bo with two children she’ll

leave motherless, the oldest a five-year-old girl who will become next in

line for sacrifice if Bo never marries again. The woman’s wedding dress is

sewn and her mind made up. She will say her vows with a blade in her

hand, and willingly give her blood to the roses as soon as she is made the

queen.

Bo was so genuinely troubled by it all. It made me glad the covenant

is hidden in my room and will remain there until the city falls.

When I first learned the truth, I wanted nothing more than to throw

it in Bo’s face, to make it clear his blood would serve the roses as well as

mine. But in the end, I had to keep the ancient king’s secret. If Bo knew he

could feed the roses, he might pick up the knife and do so, and I can’t have

that. I need the Dark Heart to starve. I need the city to fall. Soon. Tonight, if

I’m lucky.

“You have to go.” I turn back to Needle, who has yet to budge. “You

have to tell the people of Port South how to end the curse.”

Her bird hands flit from my shoulder to my cheeks, but her kindness

offers no comfort.

There was a fire in the desert again last night, Needle mouths.

My stomach flutters. “It’s probably some of our people,” I say.

“Camping by the dome, waiting to see if the city will be restored.”

It could be him, she mouths. Let me go and see.

Him. Gem. Even thinking his name makes my heart do strange things

in my chest.

“It’s too late,” I whisper. “If he loved me, he would have come

sooner.”

Needle’s fingers move beneath my hand. Maybe he was prevented

from returning.

“How?” I ask.

Maybe he was hurt or grew ill. Maybe his people did the same thing

to him that yours have done to you.

“I don’t think the Monstrous have towers or walls made of stone.”

Needle scowls. Don’t make jokes. Junjie will kill you.

“Only if he can get through my walls before the city crumbles.”

Then the city will kill you.

“The city was always going to kill me,” I say. “At least this way I will

take Yuan with me.”

But what if Gem—

“Leave,” I snap, unable to bear thinking of Gem right now. “I have to

get started. Even the fast-setting mortar will need an hour to gain strength.

I must have the first wall built before sunset. You’re wasting my time.”

Needle’s lip trembles and her eyes shine with unshed tears, and I

immediately feel terrible. Poor, tired Needle, my dear friend.

“Please, love,” I say, taking her sweet face in my hands. “You have

been my mother and my sister and my slave and my keeper for too long.

Take your bag and go. Go to Port South and live. Find people you can trust

and tell them the truth. There can still be a future for this planet. All hope is

not lost.”

Except for me.

It doesn’t matter if it’s Gem who’s been lighting those fires by the

stones these past two nights. It’s too late. Even if I let myself believe in

Needle’s excuses for his long absence, there’s no way I can join him in the

desert. If I set foot outside the tower, I’m a dead woman. The soldiers have

been ordered to kill me on sight. Bo warned me of as much this afternoon.

Junjie is determined that I will die before sunset and has enlisted every

remaining citizen of Yuan to his cause.

Save one.

“You’ve been so good to me,” I say. “I want you to live and be

happy.”

I would rather stay, Needle signs, but I’ll do as you ask. She picks up

the pack we’ve filled with food and clothes and all of my jewels. No need

for them to be buried along with me, not when they could help Needle get

settled in her new home. I’m not sure how the people of Port South treat

their damaged people, but I know a rich mute woman has a better chance

than a penniless one.

I will miss you, my friend, she mouths, refuting my claim that she’s

been a slave or a keeper, with the same firm grace with which she’s always

handled me.

What would I have done without her?

“Good-bye,” I whisper, eyes filling as I stand and hug her tightly. After

a moment, she moves out of my arms and down the stairs without a pause

in her step, without looking back.

I tell myself I’m glad. And then I cry the tears I’ve refused to cry all

day, but only for a minute. There isn’t time to waste. When my brief cry is

over, I wipe my nose on my less-than-fresh overalls and get to work. It

doesn’t take long to lay the first row of stones. The quick-drying mortar is

already mixed and ready. By the time my tears have dried on my cheeks, I