Tanya Grotter And The Magic Double Bass - Емец Дмитрий Александрович (читать лучшие читаемые книги .txt) 📗
“Well, get away from here, runt!” she shouted and, grabbing the pot of cactus from the windowsill, threw it with all her might at the disgusting creation. The pot got it right in the stomach, knocking it off the table, and in the next moment, the needles of the upset cactus stuck directly to its soft face.
Squealing hideously, the squirt threw himself under the bed and, leaning out from there, yelled angrily, “Nightmares ravings ex! I curse you! No one treated Agukh this way! You don’t know what disaster you’ve brought on yourself! Remember: you don’t gi-ve – you di-e! You’ll di-e in ter-rible pain! Mistress said so!” Threatening Tanya with a fist, the horned object slipped into the corridor and disappeared.
Tanya got hold of a rag. The tracks left by the creature did not rub off, and with the attempt to clean them they only ate even deeper into the parquet and the polishing.
Imagining how the Durnevs would behave when they returned, Tanya dejectedly lowered herself onto Pipa’s bed. Pipa, it goes without saying, will kick up a fuss if she sees her here, and… and she will simply do it, with barely a glance into the room. There is nothing to lose.
Tanya’s cheeks were burning. Who was that vile runt? What did he know about her parents, and he knew something – there is no doubt about it. To what mistress was he referring? What was he searching for in the empty apartment? Why did he nibble the diary? One thing could be said precisely – the freak appeared not of his own free will. Someone who was very definitely incited, someone thinking that Tanya could be hiding something in her case, sent him. Moreover, what he was searching for was a hundred times more valuable than the contents of Uncle Herman’s safe, the antique porcelain of Aunt Ninel, and all the junk of Pipa, together.
Despite that everything was extremely dirty and nothing good to be expected, Tanya involuntarily smiled and knocked with a bent finger on her forehead.
“Beep-beep, roof, beep-beep!” she said.
What, have they all gone crazy? And who is she, after all, such that around her all this devilry is created? Does she really have any belongings besides what is hidden in the double bass case and some filthy rags?
True, this case is clearly very ancient, perhaps a little less ancient than the gold sword from the museum, which disappeared soon after she pressed against the glass with admiration, discerning the mysterious signs on the blade. Especially memorized by her was the seemingly imprint of a bird foot on wet sand. It still seemed to her that she saw something similar once before… And even not only saw it, but also… touched it.
Tanya hardly thought about this “touched” when in a flash before her eyes arose the small tarnished plate which she had always squeezed with two fingers – the thumb and the forefinger – and afterward pulled to herself. She remembered! It is the clasp of her case!
Tanya dashed to the balcony and, getting down on her knees, turned the double bass case onto the side toward her. Here are the deep folds of the warm leather, and here is the clasp with exactly the same symbol – three fine lines taking off upwards and one down.
And then – Tanya herself did not know what compelled her to act so, she carefully traced with the little finger all four lines and, placing the finger in the small hollow in the centre, turned it exactly a half-turn. She waited a minute, two… Nothing happened. The same dull fall day, the same roofs of neighbouring houses. Sensing terrible disappointment, Tanya made these movements again – only now, tracing the outlines of the bird track, she began from the centre claw… Again nothing… But what if we first touch lightly the hollow, and then move a finger lightly along all four lines of the track? No, it is useless.
With each minute, Tanya was seized by stronger despondency. Why did she decide that something unusual must take place? Well, a plate is a plate. Must imagine less and know her place. After all, it is time to think about what she will say to Uncle Herman and Aunt Ninel when they discover the chaos in the apartment.
“Ah you! I don’t want you, and don’t need you!” Tanya exclaimed and, with disappointment, slammed shut the cover of the case, smacking a nail on the lock.
She did not have time to sense the light pain in her nail and even hardly heard the sound of a smack as something elusive flashed by in the air. Most of all it resembled a gold vortex suddenly bursting into the open window of the balcony. Irrepressible and swift, the vortex playfully tore away all the papers from the place, overturned flower pots, tore up notebooks, and then, after descending directly to the centre of the case, assumed the form of an ancient double bass with four strings – gold, silver, copper, and iron. The case fitted the instrument so ideally that it left no doubts – this was its case.
Next to the double bass lay a small bow that was almost two times shorter than the instrument.
Tanya’s heart was beating four times quicker. Not daring to touch the instrument, she stared at it wildly. Then, gathering her courage, Tanya carefully stretched out her hand in order to take the bow, but it, not waiting, jumped by itself into her palm. A small birch bark certificate was stuffed between the bow and its strings. Unrolling it, Tanya with difficulty deciphered the ancient letters with flourish:
The magic double bass of Theophilus Grotter
REMINDER TO USER
This magic double bass was created by the famous magician Theophilus Grotter in the middle of the XVII century and was used by him both for flights to the Bald Mountain and for fine magic. Deck boards from Noah’s Ark are used as material, and inside the hollow of the neck is accommodated the Rope of the Seventeen Hanged Men, snapping every time it had to execute an innocent man.
The double bass makes it possible to accomplish practically all magic actions connected with transformation, telepathy, levitation, telekinesis, invocation, banishment of evil spirits, and removal of curses. However, its main function is high-speed flight.
WARNING
1. Do not sit on the double bass until you have mastered all of its magic functions and learned the flight incantations in the one hundred and twelve volumes of White Magic edited by Cain Frogman and Judah Toadstoolenko (published by Tower, Babylon, 7000 B.C.).
2. For repairs of the double bass on no account use spare parts from diving vacuums, mops with vertical takeoff, teeth-shattering helicopters, vanishing mortars, or juicer- vampires.
3. In the case of transportation of the double bass on a dragon, it is necessary to take all measures of fire-prevention: in particular, transport the instrument strictly in the fireproof case, protected by not less than a dozen fire-quenching spells. During the time of transportation, the said dragon should have on a flame-extinguishing muzzle.
4. Do not lose the bow! Without it, you will lose the ability to control the double bass.
5. Do not allow overstretching or breaking of strings — this can lead to unpredictable consequences.
6. We remind you that this double bass is an instrument of exceptional White magic! In the case of its use for purposes and needs of Black magic, the instrument can lose magic powers.
7. Do not fight with the double bass, do not hit evil spirits with the bow, avoid collisions with solid objects! Violation of the given rules can lead to cracks in the instrument and liberation of the powerful curse contained in the Rope of the Seventeen Hanged Men.
8. Maintain special caution during flights. Do not accelerate above the speed of sound! Do not rise to heights of more than ten thousand metres. This can lead to icing of the strings and fall of the instrument, as happened with the magician Lycurgus Behind-The-Navelenn and his flying guitar.
